Ep 9 - You Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Be Loved: The Midlife Art of Embracing Who You Truly Are
May 24, 2025
Let’s be honest - the world has been whispering to you (or maybe shouting) for years that you need to be more: more polished, more productive, more together.
And you’ve done your best. You’ve shown up. You’ve poured your energy into your family, your career, your to-do list. You’ve played the part beautifully.
But now that the house is quieter… now that the kids are older… now that you have a moment to breathe - that pressure to be “perfect” doesn’t feel sustainable anymore, does it?
Let me tell you something you might need to hear today:
You are not too messy, too emotional, too late or too far gone.
You are human. And you are enough.
Why We Struggle to Accept Ourselves
Somewhere along the way, we started to believe that love and acceptance had to be earned through flawlessness.
But real self-acceptance? It begins when we stop performing and start allowing.
Allowing ourselves to be real. To have flaws. To have emotions. To still be figuring things out.
What’s stopping that acceptance? Let’s name it - because naming takes away shame.
1. Fear of Rejection
You might worry that if you show the real you - with all your quirks and questions - people will turn away. But here’s the truth: not everyone will get you, we're not for everyone and that’s ok. The ones who matter will love you more, not less, for your authenticity.
2. Comparison
She looks like she has it all together. But you’re only seeing the highlight reel. You don’t see her fears at 3am, her self-doubt, her grief. Everyone’s fighting a quiet battle. Stay focused on your lane.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
You may be setting impossible standards. And every time you don’t meet them, you feel like a failure. But what if progress, not perfection, was the real goal? What if being in process was enough?
4. The Past
Old wounds can whisper loud. Maybe someone once told you you weren’t good enough and part of you still believes them. Healing starts with recognising those voices aren’t yours. You get to rewrite the story now.
How to Start Embracing Your Whole Self
You don’t have to love every part of yourself instantly. But you can begin by softening the inner dialogue. Here’s how:
Validate Yourself First
External validation is fleeting. Someone’s approval today might turn into criticism tomorrow. But when you say, “I’m doing the best I can,” and mean it? That’s real freedom.
Practice Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your daughter or best friend. Mistakes? Normal. Setbacks? Human. Self-compassion isn’t indulgent - it’s a necessary act of courage.
Let Go of the Mask
When you stop trying to be someone you’re not, something beautiful happens: connection. Others feel seen when you’re brave enough to be seen yourself.
Own All of It — Even the Messy Bits
You’re not just your achievements. You’re your resilience. Your tears. Your comebacks. Your ability to laugh again after the storm.
When you stop editing yourself to fit a mold, you finally begin to feel whole.
You Don’t Need to Be Fixed
You just need to be remembered - by you.
You’ve lived a life. You’ve earned your wisdom, your edges, your softness.
Now is the time to stop hiding parts of yourself and start standing in your full, messy, magnificent truth.
You are not behind. You are blooming on time.
With love
Wendy
Come as you are. Reinvent who you become.
