Ep 19 The Art of Forgiveness: Releasing Resentment and Moving Forward

Forgiveness is one of those deeply human experiences that most of us grapple with particularly during times of transition, like the shift into an empty nest. When life slows down and the distractions fade, old wounds and unresolved feelings often rise to the surface. It’s in these quieter moments that the weight of unforgiveness can feel especially heavy.

But what is forgiveness really? And what does it mean for women navigating the complex terrain of midlife and motherhood’s changing roles?

What Forgiveness Is (and What It’s Not)

At its heart, forgiveness is a conscious choice. It’s the process of releasing the grip of resentment, bitterness and the exhausting urge to relive what went wrong. But let’s be clear, it does not mean excusing harmful behaviour or pretending something didn’t matter.

Here are a few common myths to be aware of:

1. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning. You can forgive and still recognise the harm that was done. It’s about releasing the emotional charge, not rewriting the past.

2. You don’t have to forget. Forgiveness isn’t about wiping your memory clean. In fact, remembering can help you set boundaries and protect yourself in future.

3. It’s not a weakness. Choosing to forgive is an act of strength. It takes self-awareness and courage to do the inner work it requires.

4. It’s rarely instant. Healing often unfolds in layers. You may need to revisit the same hurt more than once before it loses its power.

5. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You can forgive without rebuilding the relationship. Trust is separate and must be earned.

6. It’s not for them, it’s for you. The biggest shift forgiveness brings is within you. It clears space, so you’re no longer carrying their behaviour in your body and mind.

Why Forgiveness Matters in Midlife

As we move through life, unresolved pain has a way of collecting, especially for women who’ve spent years caring for others. When you’re finally left with a quieter house and a slower pace, the emotional clutter can become impossible to ignore.

This is where forgiveness becomes a gift to yourself.

Letting go of old hurts releases you from the mental and emotional weight that keeps you stuck in the past. It allows you to redirect that energy into healing, clarity and personal growth. Forgiveness softens the edges of your pain and helps you move forward, not because what happened didn’t matter, but because you matter more.

Self-Forgiveness: The Missing Piece

Often, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves.

Maybe you regret a decision you made years ago. Maybe you feel guilt about how you parented or how you handled a relationship or even how you’ve treated yourself.

Self-forgiveness is the quiet but radical act of saying: I am still learning and I choose to love myself anyway.

It’s not about ignoring mistakes, it’s about understanding them. It's giving yourself permission to grow, to get things wrong and to still be worthy of peace and progress.

Self-forgiveness clears the path for self-compassion, self-respect and a deeper connection with who you are becoming.

The Link Between Forgiving Others and Forgiving Ourselves

There’s a profound connection between how we forgive others and how we forgive ourselves. When you begin to understand that others act from their own pain, you can also begin to soften your harsh inner voice. When you show grace to someone else, you open the door to showing grace to yourself.

It’s a loop of compassion and it always begins within.

You Deserve Peace, Not Perfection

If you’re in the season of life where your role is shifting, your house is quieter and your emotions feel louder, know that this is a time not just of change, but of invitation.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful mindset shifts available to you. It’s not a quick fix and it won’t erase the past. But it will help you reclaim your future.

Inside The Silent Grief of Motherhood, we explore how to navigate the grief, guilt and identity shifts that come with this transition and forgiveness is one of the core emotional tools we gently build together.

Ready to Take the First Step?

Start where you are. Reflect on what, or who, still holds space in your heart in a way that hurts. Begin by writing a letter you’ll never send. Or speak aloud what you wish someone had said to you. Or say it to yourself.

And if you haven’t yet, download our free guide, Mindset Shifts to Prepare for the Empty Nest. It’s a gentle companion for the brave transition you’re walking through. You don’t need to rush. But you do deserve support.  Check it out here at www.themindtraininggym.co.uk/prepare

Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It’s about remembering who you are without the pain holding you back.